Lawyer Jokes

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What do you need when you have 3 lawyers up to their necks in cement? More cement.
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A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender: "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure do" replied the bartender. "Good" the man said. "Give me a beer and my gator will have a lawyer"
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As a lawyer came out of anesthesia after surgery, he asked the doctor: "Why are all the blinds drawn?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure."
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Last one:
A lawyer makes it to the Pearly Gates and is greeted by an exuberent St. Peter, who is pleased to make the acquaintance of a 165-year old. "No" the lawyer says, " I was only 78 when I died." "Ah, I see where we made our mistake as to your age," St. Peter replied, "We just added up your time sheets."





RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER "T".
EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
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THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT.....
YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......
YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY.........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
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WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
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WHAT'S THE CUBAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT..........
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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?
A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS...........
"Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT.".


Other Sites of Interest

http://www.thehungersite.com - Feed a hungry kid, it's free.
http://www.camzone.com - Live camera shots of Del Mar, CA. Including Shamu.
http://www.bored.com - Great site with lots of fun stuff.

http://www.bonzi.com  - fun / annoying little bird that can read your e-mail.

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