Tell this guy to do something and he will.
Stress Reliever
Scientists for Health UK suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis
that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a
concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female
hormones (as hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it may feminize men.
To test the theory, 100 men were given 6 pints of beer each to drink within a one
hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked
excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to
think rationally, argued over nothing, refused to apologize when obviously wrong,
and had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished..
Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife
was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
"It really works!"
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