requirements at Harvard. Try to finish within 5 minutes. When you are
done, count the number correct and see how you compare to others. OK,
here we go...
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?
11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
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*** NO CHEATING ***
So how do you think you did? (Scroll down for answers.)
TEST ANSWERS:
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
One (1). You can only be born once.
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.
5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
No. He must be dead if it is his widow.
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
Two (2). You take two apples... therefore YOU have TWO apples.
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour has passed.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.
11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
Meat ... that is self-explanatory.
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? TWELVE it's a dozen.
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
George W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.
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So, how did you do?
13 correct.........GENIUS...you are good.
10 - 12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head.
7 - 9 correct........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average?
4 - 6 correct..........SLOW...pay attention to the questions!
1 - 3 correct..........IDIOT...what else can be said?
0 correct..............CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family who all congratulated him on his retirement, thanked him for his years of service, and sent him on his way with a gift token for 100 pounds.
The second house gave him a case of fine 20 year old Scotch whisky.
The people in the third house gave him a wonderful fishing rod complete with all reels and tackle.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, brought him in, closed the door and gently led him upstairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love making that he had ever experienced.
When he couldn't take any more, she went downstairs and prepared him a giant breakfast of sausages, eggs and bacon and a cup of freshly brewed tea. She brought the whole lot up to the bedroom and served him breakfast in bed.
After he had eaten, she poured him a cup of fresh coffee. While she was pouring he noticed a 5 pound note sticking out from under the cup.
"All this was too wonderful for words", he said " but what's the fiver for?"
"Well", she said, " last night I told my husband that today was your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you".
He said, "F**k him. Give him a five."
"The breakfast was my idea."
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