HE BUGS GORE
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters:
EVIL'S AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once): TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
And asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could
help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display
case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I
replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to
laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in
the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let
me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the
last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The
last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying
my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that
Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he
needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he
replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30
people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better
by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but
don't get any....a true story. We had a female news anchor who, the
day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too
they were laughing so hard!
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